This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
