Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
