she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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