Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
