i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
never play flip cup with pint glasses
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
