Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
