What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
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Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
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I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize