Yo dont text me then not text me
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I'm passing your future prison.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
