Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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