It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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