maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
