Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize