i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
