is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
