Fuck appropriateness.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
