I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
