Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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