Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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