I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Randomize
