Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
i out mim tonsoeep
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
