As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
this boner is exhausting
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Randomize
