We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
