is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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