instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
