hell yes lets make some ravioli
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
