she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize
