I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
