the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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