One girl and one boy is just not enough.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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