my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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