I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
