I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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