Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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