CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
