I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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