The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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