Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
