woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
