Can Purell be used as lube?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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