She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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