Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I stole a fireplace last night.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
