I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
My breasts were aching with rage.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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