but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
