The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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