i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Randomize
