Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
