also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
