the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
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