Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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