I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
