He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
