I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I'm both gender and math confused
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