You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
