How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Randomize
