why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Randomize
