I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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