I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I will pee on everything he values.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Randomize
