Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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