escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
