Midget sex pt 2 tonight
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
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He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
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That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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