I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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