just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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