no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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