I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
