She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
