i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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