..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
